Zambia Great East – West Road

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Time to wake Florence from her resting place under the sausageless tree and get on the road again. Time to get real. Safari Extraordinaire is safely filed in the memory bank. Prof G kept telling me about The Bridge Camp. It seemed to be the only place to break the long journey from South Luangwa to Lusaka. The reviews ranged from Ok to DON’T but what the hell, there wasn’t much choice so The Bridge Camp on the banks of the Luangwa river it would be.

You soon learn that most journeys north of the Limpopo are measured in time rather than distance. The Great East road has had a face-lift so is rather splendid but as you go West or South anything goes. Strange thing is that the road seems to disintegrate without warning. Good looking tar just suddenly disappears. For about 120km between Sesheke and Kasangula the best road is actually on the side of the tar. Problem is massive trucks use this option too. Its a game of chicken. Not many take on the might of a copper laden monster so you have to scoot back up the embankment and bounce along the islands of tar.

If you’ve forgotten to pack padkos, don’t fret. Lovely dried fish, snot apples and various organic options are available from the roadside stalls…………….pass.

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Neville was treated to the real African travel experience at The Bridge Camp. Luckily I’d booked so were guaranteed a room. Talk about abandoned potential. Should have listen to the DON’T review. Anyway’, experiences are what make a journey. So, here are some samples of the facilities. Mix and match, build your own room but you have to choose something from each. No just going straight for the luxury.

Let me help. 1st category: Bathrooms. The Bridge camp bathroom could only have been designed by a caveman with a longing for alcohol to smooth the edges of isolation and smothering heat. How the hell do you clean that thing! The answer quite clearly, never. Its an impossibility. The Golden lodge offered complimentary slip slops which the others didn’t. Only draw back being that they looked like they’d been up-cycled from a beach clean up programme. Latitude 15 looked stylish but you needed to be a magician to get the temperature anything other than boiling or icy . Clear winner Ila Lodge. Pure luxury. Best ever shower.

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Category’2 Beds Decor and security. Load shedding is a real thing in Zambia. When I booked into Golden Lodge the power was off. The standard routine is that the person in charge shows you a few options and then you choose. As we rounded the passage corner we were plunged into darkness. As in darker than dark, can’t see a thing dark. Automatic response,squeak. The reception lady laughed and said, “are you scared”. Picture the thought process running through her head. No I just can’t see a thing. With that she swung open the door to reveal choice number 2. Eclectic mix of styles with a winning pink mosquito net. Picture Dougie snoozing under the protection of the Golden Lodge four poster bed………………….

No words for The Bridge Camp. Seriously…………………….

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Category 3: Views. Here’s where the choices get a bit tricky. Presuming you’ve already chosen Ila lodge it’s now out of play, even though it seriously has a killer view of the Kafue river. Literally the best ever. Golden lodge is in the process of building a conference center but things move slowly . That leaves none other than The Bridge Camp. Ironically the view is actually top class. That is if you can filter the semi abandoned pool which the ground staff diligently cleared of floating debris in the morning. Standards have to be maintained after all. The water was crystal clear but only half full. The water surface was manicured but the pool sides looked like an algae experiment.

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Soon after this Bridge I was flagged down at the set road block. Tricky thing with these roadblocks is that I find it hard to differentiate between, keep going and stop here. This time however, there was no mistaking. Another clue is if the officials don their hats they usually mean business. I wound down the window and the soldier in camouflage leaned in. “I need help ! Please Madame”. Sure what is the matter, someone having a baby, broken their leg what? “I have a friend needing a lift to Koama”.

No problem climb in. These type of requests are kind of rhetorical when the soldier asking for help has an AK 47 slung menacingly over his shoulder and there is clearly plenty of space. My new passengers climbed on board and proceeded to nod off, oblivious to the perils of neck snapping potholes that signaled a 40km/h max stretch of road.

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Category 4: Entertainment. Ok so The Bush Camp doesn’t even feature in this one. Plain and simple, blank , Well that is unless you’re into a game of 40 degree heat survivor . The nominees are: Latitude 15, snazzy wedding. Ila Lodge just plain gorgeous river and sunset or Golden lodge chickens taking cover from the rain under Florence. An the winner is…………….

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You guessed it. The Bush Camp, Survivor. Here’s Nev emerging from the sweat house unscathed but relieved to see the light of day.

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The obligatory selfie. Venue: The Bridge Camp………no we won’t be back